23.7.06

"When did I empty My empty mind?"
[Arto Lindsay]

}{My mind empty was never emptied, it was polished with various desires and abilities to be.}{

The emptiness was a selfishness, an eccentric obligation for the existence of altruism. A joy in the act to relieve one's pain. A distorted form of masochism, of sadism. What a weird kid.

So, she dropped her suitcase of encouragements, pity parties, and happy thoughtful gifts for others and ran the other way. She left them alone and revived her determination to live her life as she saw fit. As a selfish person gone right, a reborn egotist. Words, words, words revealed to her that she had nothing in life but a parasitic routine that depended on fallen spirits and frowns.

She built a canoe and directed it to where she wanted, because she needed her own path. She began to whisper her lines of moods and beliefs into leaves and put them into the river, should one fish out a leaf, she would not worry. She learned that her life did not depend on others as much as it did on her. She accepted the story of her past and decided that her future would be the parody to it.

Now, she's her own doctor. Some may call her selfish for not wishing to compromise, for not surrendering when they need her to, but that's how creators, inventors, and geniuses live and must survive.

tea is served @ 4:41 p. m. --------------------------------------------------------------