31.7.05

¡¡Happy Birthday Krystine!!

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[Important!!!!- I won't have room internet until Second Quarter, but I do have a cell phone now, so I'll send e-mails of my number, complete address, etc. to those that gave me their e-mail account and all others need to notify me or get it from somebody, Especially for Rae, if someone doesn't make sure Rachel has my number, I'll be super irri. So contacting me just got a tad harder, but I'll be able to use the school internet, just don't expect me to update blogs as often anymore.]

It was fun, I'm looking forward to the start of school, I met people, I didn't choose a roommate which will then be assigned to me. If my roommate turns out to be one of those girls that doesn't know how to take care of herself, a.k.a.- knows how to clean up after herself, I may just freak. . .

You see, the Majourity of the students are of Naperville, which is where you can find "brats" Extremely easily and quite frankly, the Chi will teach the brats, because I'm just not having it. . . especially for a roommate^_^. . .

Many others tended to have to sprouted out from a corn field in the middle of nowhere. So, this should be quite fun indeed.

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29.7.05

No matter what happens, I'm glad and grateful that everything tends to happen. There's always a reason and lesson to find out, and an experience to put into bank.
[I'll be back, Sunday evening]

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28.7.05

Leap into the air of openess
And hoped for the clouds to catch them

The clouds are there
Yet their form is too soft

How sweet the jump
How bitter the fall

Great clouds are but clouds
Some times they are there

Other times
They just are not

Not meant to interact with us
Just meant to aid us

But to gaze upon them
Is as much as one

Can preform
With them

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"So I'm stepping out of time
because breaking is a crime
And it may all be too late
but I've no passion for this hate

That's the price of love
Can you feel it
If we could buy it now
how long would it last?"

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Home, sweetly home. I sat next to a lady who told me all about her and it was cool, she was Sooo nice and funny and gave me some ah-some encouragements and even cracked some jokes on a couple guys. Ah ha ha, a Blast, she was.

Also, for the first in a while, I watched the sunset. It's so lovely to watch the sun set around Chambana and those southern areas, because you can clearly see it and everything. Ever so peaceful and calming, makes me not so scared anymore^_^.

So guys. . . I'm ah. . . um. . . eh.

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27.7.05

Last night of chillaxin', cracking jokes, and watching my sisters dance like musically challenged "humans," cannot explain how hard it was to breathe at certain points, let alone keep my bladder steady. . .

Lonzio, I actually don't believe that one can be too open. In the finishing line of life, all humans are the same, so secrets are really just reasons of curious mysteries for those whom we wish to not know certain information.

Considering how this society breathes on certain subjects never being told, I easily feel like I'm breaking an unwritten law when I give random "Special" hugs. And also, everyone has a right to be cautious, for fear of being hurt and all that smoosh, though we all end up hurt anyway. I feel that one might as well have a human diary or even more and be willing to accept all the things that make us human, from Majour mistakes to simple top "secret" information.

Plus, who has the right to judge when information is too much anyway? Well, okay, I'm sure that several of us are possibly picturing Elizabeth Anderson, however I actually admire her willingness to talk to anyone that's willing to listen.

Aha!I've got it when we feel that some information is too "personal" or whichever, that's how it's deemed as "Too Much Info." But! How many of us have a right to judge, when our evaluations are, as each of us are, changing and still developing?

Though some things are better left unsaid, I think we should appreciate when someone is actually simply being open with us, even if it's not something one would normally listen to, completely hates the simple thought of and so on. I don't feel that I'm the only one who doesn't enjoy the feeling of being ignored when passing through public areas because so many seem to be so uptight and suspicious of everyone else. But that makes being open with people like you and all others more comforting, because I'm most likely not going to be ignored and the things I say will be heard, even if I need to be told to stop now and then. . . Being open isn't a terrible thing, I feel it's a thing that one could slowly just get use to.

Not many strangers will apologise on their own accord if you saw " . . a little vagina. . . " while climbing on top of a couch with a skirt on or explain how during perspiration, bacteria vomits and poohs in your skin. [Um, I'll explain that some other day. . . As long as you get the idea and had a little laugh, that's All that matters]

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26.7.05

Ten Thousand Villages is a non-profit store that just sells thousands of items made by people across the globe that create Many crafts and the money you pay is sent to the creators and it Greatly helps them out. Go find one soon, hopefully there may be one in Chicago or so, it's well worth Every penny and just fabulous stuff there, though all I could really buy were Indian candles, because they can fit in my bag^^:.

However, my vacation is slowly coming to an end, yet not many will be able to catch me until next week, so it's more that I'll be making calls, unless you Really want to on Thursday and Friday night, though I should be practicing my audition music because I'm as timidly frightened as a mouse about that. . . Oh so scared. . .

So, with a song from The Faint running through my head, they're a Great band to listen to, with all the background strings and such, I've realised that there's so much out there that "schooling" isn't showing you, that you have to find on your own. I just found out exactly How messed up governments are, with the book The Brutallity of Nations. It's actually about the war in Nigeria against the I[g]bos, which is my family tribe and it's just a terrible starvation technique used, the whole world knew about it, and yet certain things were concealed as to keep commerce running in Britain and Nigeria. The I[g]bos seceded from Nigeria and were just Horribly screwd over and it's just a Huge thing that happened.

What gets me the most is how I found out through a book and not through my parents or anything. My mum was about 10 when it began, but thankfully, she was moved to a part of Nigeria were she was safe with her brothers, my uncles.

But, what gets me is how so many friends can tell me about their heritage and past and things like " . . . My grandfather was an orphan . . . " and so on. And here I am, with a dark heritage filled with many stories of corruption that I'm ignorant of. I feel that I don't know of it because so many times left too deep a scar for any of the adults to sit me down about tell me about. Plus, I'd probably find various parts to be bias and propaganda and racist and all that smoosh. Which, in a sense, is natural, but not what I always wish to hear, but am usually glad to hear about.

Not saying that I wish I knew my background better, well, in a sense I do feel that way, yet not to the level of envy. Though my roots go far, it doesn't mean that I have to know Everything, simply knowing the funny/good times are great enough. [Like the story of my father and his fad with those lovely platform shoes of the seventies, ah a great memory-story indeed^_^.]

Basically, I wish I knew more, but am quite content with what I know and with the ability to easily learn more through report books. And also, something that I'm asking of the readers to do, for the sake of kindness, Pray for the World.

Please, Pray to God for peace to come back and reign, for evil and "terror" to fade away as a storm does. All these bombings are just. . . are just too much. I just pray that God will grant us each strength to bring peace into our own lives, so that we can be inspired to bring peace back to the rest of the world, because I just feel that with so many bombings going on and then all these emotions in my heart for the simple moment, I just feel slightly lost.

I know the world is not crumbling down, but I feel that enough is Enough. If we don't aim to vow to not repeat the mistakes of today and mend the broken, how can we be dreamers for tomorrow?

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24.7.05

" dance
as though no one is watching you

love
as though you have never been hurt before

sing
as though no one can hear you

live
as though heaven is on earth "
[Sourza](I think^^:)

Really, Really, love that poem/thing

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23.7.05

A story. . .

Hundreds of people village were killed by the French and Hutu, because they were Tutsi. Some of their bodies were buried in Mass graves, and in order for the stench of rotting corps to not reign through the air, the French had lime juice poured all over the top layer.

Then, a volleyball net was placed right over the mass grave and they all had their fun and what not. Years later, the graves were dug back up and many were astonished to find that the bodies were preserved by the lime juice, skin and bone intact. The most amazing part was that the bodies were pure white. White, the colour that would have saved their lives from horrible deaths by people of the white colour [ several French troops] and by their own neighbours [the Hutu]. The colour that could have stopped men from chopping them with machetes and shot down by guns. . . .

In this life, the worst things to give a person are pride, entitlement, power, and weapons, for the sake of money.

The worst thing to do to a person is to not protect them and the turn thine eyes away from the terrible terror that reigns and destroys their lives. . . The story of the Tutsi genocide is only 11 years old, not 110, but 11 years old. . . Genocide is still not a thing of the past, and the past is yesterday and beyond, not several hundred years ago.

Most importantly, Do Not Ever believe that there is nothing you can do to stop terrbile deaths. If one voice can change the present emotions of one or many humans, then one voice can save a life and even Lives.

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22.7.05

"so say you have a person in your life that you know loves you. sometimes, it seems as though the two of you arent as close as you could be or used to be but you know that they're always there if you need them. you know that they will try to understand whatever you need them to. you just know who you are to them. so far they've kind of just conveniently been there whenever, so how do you tell them point-blank that you need them? how do you know that they're there? and how exactly do you find a way to kindly break someone's heart? and why am i so attached to all the things i know poison me?"

And so, I feel that "Love" is a relationship of its own. It's an intoxicating, amazing, thing when both sides are giving what they can and maybe even more.

"Love is a many splendid thing, all you need is love." [Moulin Rouge]

Maybe all we really want is love, yet not many can love a stone. I feel it loving to return love and maybe add a little more than what you were given. You may openly need them and they may silently need you, and yet that can some how work out if a form of equality is placed in for the circle to be complete and both are happy with what is bestowed upon them, which is love, care and consideration, and what they give back, which is usually love, care, consideration and gratitude.

With need, no one says that one is obligated to tell whosoever that they need them., well, that's in the World of the Chi [naturally]. I feel that one can deeply imply it without having to be blunt. With simple contact with them, for advice or whatever matters the most. But make sure to be appreciative about it and let them understand that they have meaning to you. It's allowing them to be aware of the fact that they are important to you. However! It's never a terrible thing to just say what's the simple truth of how one feels about another.

I hope that all readers realise that this is all from simple assumptions, though I do not enjoy speaking through assumptions alone. So, naturally, Jordan, you have all right to correct me in all areas of wrongfulness and just simple inaccuracy.

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Just to let all that still read my blog know, Lynda and I made it to Champaigne alright. I love the architecture here, it's so old and classy. Nanci's place has a porch patio at the back And Then a sunroom at the front, plus no television. How rad? Totally rad, so we can actually take a sweet brief vacation here and all that lovely smoosh^_^

I hope everyone else is doing dandy, and if not, just e-mail me and we can talk or so. I've got time to listen and give advice and a loving hand. . . My e-mail is actually on a link of the Second list of links, if you don't have it already. But that's mainly because calling would be long distance and I would probably end up calling someone at 2 in the morning, because no one really cares too much for time unless they have work in the morning. That's what happens when your older sibling is an Artist, they only hang with Real, majourly awesome, like Emily and Komul, people that can argue about any commercial, of recent, or just anything and it all makes some form of sense, depending upon how one perceives it. . .

Ciao!^_^

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20.7.05

A part of me is being stubborn and not allowing myself to just follow what I feel. . . Evidently, I feel frightened because of a little factor that I've been overlooking lately. There's just an internal conflict within myself, at the moment, and I thought taking some time would do me good, but more of made me a fool. Or have I always been the fool? I just know I've got to talk to him and finally bring my mind to ease.

It's probably from all the changes and aspirations and random meaningful statements. . . It's just weird. . .

Maybe it is my atmosphere or so. . . But, I'll be in Champaigne for about a week and then will head off to Orientation, which is a two day trip at IMSA. . . a little breezy break. . .

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" Virgo

Daily extended (by Astrology.com)
Romance is in the air -- but not just for anyone. It's in the heavens above you and your friends and loved ones. Don't you dare pass up this opportunity to meet someone new or waste it sitting on the couch. If you're attached, get out there with your sweetie and rekindle that flame. If you're not, get out there and find someone you'll be eager to rekindle that flame with in a few years -- or in several years."

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19.7.05

It's always time for change when you become comfortable in the place you are in. . .

So, change is good yeah? Nah, maybe change is simply constructive. . .

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18.7.05

My reason for why I haven't posted in a while, our Norton system wasn't reinstalled when our DSL was hooked back up for almost a week and naturally we got a virus. Amazingly enough it was a Trojan Horse and I found out when I was installing Norton and basically our computer crashed, then I was able to restore it and then it crashed and burned the following morning.

I called up Geek Squad but it would take over a week for them to come and fix it, so Mum, Sonya and I went out and bought a new computer. I just find it awesomely powerful just to give up on one computer and buy another one, Mum, sometimes you Truly do amaze me^_^

So, new computer means, we actually have a sound system again! And "My heart explodes with joy!" Ah ha ha ha, it's an Invader Zim thing, a Must see show. . .

But still, I'm quite rightly happy, especially with Sonya being over for a couple more days. It took a while for me to realise how much I miss everyone and just having someone here with me, that isn't a blood relative, has been one of the best parts of this crazed summer, because so much has happened to me, yet so little has been able to occur. This is probably my last free-to-be summer and I actually wanted to be able to spend time with those I won't see as often anymore, A.K.A. - You All!, and yet it's just been turned into a summer of Babysitting, every week of this summer I've had a child or children to take care of, with help from my siblings, we've all just worked together.

Quite frankly, with all of that, it's made me Extremely sceptical about ever having my own, it's Way too much hassel, and I don't even have a job, yet. And most importantly, I've become a neat freak and with having toddlers around. . . I'm just amazed that I still have all my hair and Never hit any of them, unless playfully^^;.

Yet still, I don't know how Lynda still believes that I'll be a great mum. . . Love for children is an ironic, bittersweet, love and I think I would give prayers to God everynight for patience,strength, and simple Thanks for making it through the day. It just wears me down, but I can't deny love for them. The twist is I love babies and their innocence, but I can't stand Toddlers and their button pushing wahala, check that out I've even started picking up Igbo because of them too^^;. : :Igbo(ee-boe), my native tongue: :

Seriously, it's All just a mad twist with everything together and separate.

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14.7.05

Everyone,

Now and then, it's good to sit down, review past/current situations and ask yourself "WTH was I thinking?!"

The point of it is to always have a good reason for your decisions and aim to make decisions that don't necessarily need to be reviewed like that. Yet, if you can't answer one, then. . . You need to get yourself back in order and do whatever you can to set things straight. . .

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13.7.05

Truly, somehow it makes sense to not fall into the same trap that one was placed into in the past, right?

However, when it deals with certain kinds of people, it is quite an awkward battle to end. Depending upon the Full personalities and past actions and possible actions and reactions, how can one determine what to do, other than just keep themselves away from such things altogether and not deal with such situations?

I have an internal problem with a personality, or I should say "tendency," that has been exhibited in several people that I'm "associated" with. Now, Nanci was here and she and I were walking and talking, and she brought up words of her wisdom of how she usually deals with that tendency and she made perfect sense to just not be a fool and to stay away from such lights.

Yet, my associates have meaning that I cannot deny. And so, I guess I would have to turn to ice in order to have a better feeling of comfort in the future. . . Man, decisions are a whole other thing, no wonder playing chess takes me so long.

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11.7.05

So Much Has Happened!

As some may know, I've moved and now live in the lovely suburb of Glenwood, it's so nice and diverse here. I mean, there's a Jewish or Islamic school like two blocks away from our house, now that's something you would never expect to find in Park Forest, I kid you not.

Mmmmm, my siblings are leaving for Texas in two days, leaving it as me and Mum for about a week, then it'll be me, mum and Lyn. I'm looking forward to it all.

Because I was being a Summah Mama for almost all of June, I really am just going into my relaxation state with no worries of my darling babies until next time.

I've been keeping in something of touch in my father. Though I usually see his flaws more than his personality, I respect him. He's keeping his word to me, even though it's to be quite a challenge, but it truly makes me respect him, and that has not happened in Years, that feeling towards him is quite rare, so it is quite simple to see how power his word is to me.

And with the babies, they had AOL at their place and AOL would not allow me to sign into blogger, but I did post on my xanga like. . . twice^^:, hey, better than nothing viejo.

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